I just want to GO

Why does God give me this passion... this overwhelming passion... I want to go to the ends of the earth for Him... I want to work with children and youth... I want to change lives in His name...

When I think about people in the world, the hurting, the lost, the children, I cry and I just want to go be His hands and feet so bad it hurts...

but I can't... I'm here doing school... and what's next? Grad school?

I want to do the engage program (in Mexico) through Southwestern University soooo bad... but I just don't know if it's going to work out. I know God has everything in His hands I just don't understand why He gives me this passion and urgency when I can't use it in the here and now... I feel like I'm wasting it...

Sometimes I wonder if it's my fault... I wonder if because I rejected the calling He placed on my life and threw the passion I once had for missions to the side for different relationships in my life if He didn't take it back...

A great mentor of mine once told me God gives each of us gifts and callings to use, and if we don't use them He takes them back because they're not ours they're His. So did I mess this up by being young and stupid or is missions still what I'm called to do?

All I know is I want to serve, I want to get dirty, I want to encourage people, I want to love people, I want to make a difference, and more than anything I want to reflect God in ALL that I do...

I know He's calling me to something greater than where and what I am now... I just can't see it yet