Free to be ME

Francesca Battistelli totally captured my heart and feelings in this song... I LOVE IT!!!

At twenty years of age
I'm still looking for a dream
A war is already waged for my destiny
But You've already won the battle
And You've got great plans for me
Though I can't always see, 'cause...
I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
And on my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me
When I was just a girl
I thought I had it figured out
See my life will turn out right
And I'll make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt, 'cause...
I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
And on my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me
And you're free to be you
Sometimes I believe
That I can do anything
Yet other times I think
I've got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and you tell me
That I've got all You seek
And it's easy to believe, even though...
I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
And on my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me
And you're free to be you

L*I*F*Eve

Life really catches up to you sometimes... it's crazy... I feel like I just posted my last entry yesterday, maybe because the same struggle is still in the back of my mind.

I'm going to do a little Beth Moore quoting because I need it right now... "God is who He says He is, God can do what He says He can do, I am who God says I am, I can do all things through Christ, God's word is alive and active in me!"
It's one of those silly things but it actually really helps because they are all truths that I, and we as Christians, forget all the time... simple truths that are at the base of our faith in Christ, the base of who we really are in Him... created by the Beloved, in His image, for His work.... made perfect in our own weakness, covered by grace.

It's good stuff... stuff it's hard to completely comprehend because noone on Earth could ever love like our Savior...

On my own...

I'm having a harder time with this being on my own and alone thing than I thought I would...
It's rough...

I miss the community from college... always having someone nearby if needed... I have no family up here... I have friends but it's just different.
I LOVE it here, I'm not complaining... it's just a HUGE adjustment that is taking a lot longer than I thought it would and is a bit more painful than I thought it would be.

Sometimes it's just hard being alone in an apartment... working 8 hours everyday, coming back to an empty apartment and sometimes going days without real friend contact-- it's lonely.

I mean I do stay pretty busy... Mondays I get off work, do some quick shopping (because I'm in town on Mondays), make and eat dinner, then go to my friends house to watch 24... Tuesdays I get off work, eat dinner, and go to youth at the church, Wed I get off, eat dinner, go to prayer at the church, come home and relax, Thursdays work, dinner, Hopkins for The Office, and Friday is usually either hang out or alone time... Saturdays I clean the house and relax, and Sundays is church... so it's not like my life is lacking eventfullness... I just feel lonely... like I don't really have anyone here...
I do have friends here and I'm getting to know people, I am just struggling with this transition. Working full time, paying the bills, trying to make ends meet, being single, being away from family, and trying to adjust to a new place... it's hard. I'm not trying to complain, I'm just being real about life...

It's hard right now... I'm having a hard time dealing with being alone and on my own. It's great to have Jesus and I know I wouldn't survive without Him, but sometimes I just need people... I need friends and family... ya know?