Growing Spiritually?!?

What does growing spiritually really mean?
I've been trying to figure out where I am with God, where I should be, and how far I've came...

This is my journal entry from January...

Is God real... if so where is He right now? Where is He now that I need Him the most? Why dis He leave me in my pain and suffering? Why is He doing this to me... is He punishing me? Is there any hope left? Where is this loving savior I've heard about my whole life? Where is He? Why isn't He helping me? Why isn't He with me? Why won't He speak to me? Why doesn't He hear me... Why doesn't He care? Is He even real? Or do we just create this "God" in order to fulfill our questions and emptiness as part of the human wondering... How do I know He is true and real... And if He is real why isn't He helping me? Why isn't He comforting me? I'm tired of this struggle... I just want to quit... to be done with it... I really don't think there is a God.

I know I've grown since this entry... I knew there was a God then and I definately know it now more than ever... but sometimes I still have these same questions run through my head... like why isn't He listening? does He care? And it makes me wonder... what is spiritual growth... and will I ever not have these questions. I love God with all my heart and I want nothing more than to honor Him in everything I do. And I've began to think that spiritual growth comes in the form of gaining faith, and as the Bible says faith comes from reading the word, and reading the word helps us to learn more about God and to fall more in love with Him. And each of my struggles and experiences in life, good or bad, have only taught me more about God... And while life is a roller coaster, and I fail God continuously, I know everyday my faith is only growing stronger. I know the questions will never stop.... but the questions are what cause me to keep seeking God.

Larissa Inspired Me!

Yup... she inspired me to become a blogger... I figured y not get one more distraction for my senior year of college... what the heck...