I wish...

churches didn't cause so much pain...

I look at what churches have done to my parents and my family and I'm disgusted.

I know it's because churches are ran by people and people definately aren't perfect... but it's the church... the body of Christ.... the place that is suppose to show God's unconditional love to the world.

Christians are suppose to reflect God's love. To be rooted in His love, produce good fruit from that love, and seek to love all people as Christ does...

but no... the majority of my experiences with churches, christians, and christian leaders are just the opposite of love...

they cause pain... they cause anguish... the church is hurtful... christians are hurtful...
(I realize as a Christian I'm pointing a finger at myself... but it's true)

I've never seen so much immaturity and hurtfulness within a group that is supposed to be about loving the world.

It kills me...

I know one of my greatest gifts is encouragement and support, and I love doing both... I love encouraging people, I love supporting people... but why do I want to encourage and support something that breaks my heart...

I know God has called me to ministry... but I don't want to be what I have experienced... I want to love and encourage people not break them down...
and I...
I am broken...