Strike the water!

Those are the most amazing three words I've probably ever heard in my life.

As the final youth service on Thursday PK and Rachel wrote out sticky notes to each of us and then took turns explaining them... PK did mine and it simply said: "Strike the water!"

(yup... I framed it :))

Now most people were surprised PK did mine and not Rachel, as was I at first, but it meant so much to me that he did...


See PK and I have talked over the previous month or so about what I wanted to do with my life (which I have no clue), what my passion is (again, no clue), what I enjoy doing (no clue), and what God has called me to do (u guessed it... no clue).

But from my many conversations with him I have really grown spritually, been challenged in my faith and way of thinknig, and discovered some of the things I am good at and enjoy... I love to serve and do things for others, I love encouraging people, I love supporting people, I'm good at connecting with teenagers, I'm passionate about what I do, and I'm a unique leader for whatever reasons that may be...

My point is... over the past few months I've gaining confidence in who I am in Christ because of his encouragement and leadership in my life...

AND nothing could top those three words... Strike the water..

They hit me deep... PK knows, more than anyone, about all this passion I have in me, this love for God... it's all there... but I bundle it up... I'm scared of it... scared if I let it out I will fail... but he told me to strike the water... To stop being timid and scared...

I guess I need to just strike the water... cross over... let the passion and love for Christ out of me so God can do amazing things through me...

And it still scares me... but PK has given me so much confidence and those three words will stay with me forever... (especially since they are framed)

I'm still trying to figure it all out... but I know I'm heading in the right direction and one day... This passion for God inside of me will be the guiding force of my life... I just have to let it...

I can't believe it...

or well... I don't want to believe it...

PK and Rachel are gone.

I helped them finish packing, move out, and clean up the house today... it was sad watching that house empty out...

Then watching them drive away...

I cried uncontrollably.

This stinks.

My youth group is AMAZING!

This is the best youth group ever...

I seriously LOVE this youth group

Unhealthy???

So in order to get through all the finals, studying, papers, and projects I am working on today I have drank 2 cups of coffee and I am currently on my second energy drink of the night...

I think I'm going to have a heart attack or something...

funny thing is... I'm still tired and can't concentrate very well! AH!

I just need to get through this week!

(my procrastination skills are killing me right now!)

I HATE finals!

I really do hate finals week... but this week is hard for a number of other reasons...
the hardest is that Rachel and Kyle will be gone in 4 days and I can't take it. I don't know how to say goodbye. I know I'll stay in contact with them but it will never be the same... And I will miss their two little girls like crazy!

They have poured more into my life then anyone I've ever met and have helped me to build a solid foundation on Christ. I have learned sooo much from them and I couldn't ask for greater spiritual mentors.

PK has really helped me to fall in love with ministry and to see that I can be used. And Rachel... well she has just changed my life for the best... I could never thank her enough. She didn't just change my relationship with Christ, but every aspect of my life and who I am. She challenges me all the time to be a better person and to change the way I think and see things. They are two AMAZING people.

I just wish this season of my life where I have their support, encouragement, example, and them pouring into my life wasn't over... Working in their youth group these past years has been the greatest experience of my life.

So I must say Rachel is the cutest pregnant lady ever! I will miss her so much...

I just want to GO

Why does God give me this passion... this overwhelming passion... I want to go to the ends of the earth for Him... I want to work with children and youth... I want to change lives in His name...

When I think about people in the world, the hurting, the lost, the children, I cry and I just want to go be His hands and feet so bad it hurts...

but I can't... I'm here doing school... and what's next? Grad school?

I want to do the engage program (in Mexico) through Southwestern University soooo bad... but I just don't know if it's going to work out. I know God has everything in His hands I just don't understand why He gives me this passion and urgency when I can't use it in the here and now... I feel like I'm wasting it...

Sometimes I wonder if it's my fault... I wonder if because I rejected the calling He placed on my life and threw the passion I once had for missions to the side for different relationships in my life if He didn't take it back...

A great mentor of mine once told me God gives each of us gifts and callings to use, and if we don't use them He takes them back because they're not ours they're His. So did I mess this up by being young and stupid or is missions still what I'm called to do?

All I know is I want to serve, I want to get dirty, I want to encourage people, I want to love people, I want to make a difference, and more than anything I want to reflect God in ALL that I do...

I know He's calling me to something greater than where and what I am now... I just can't see it yet

Youth Convention

was pretty amazing and eventful...

It all started at Arby's in Fairfield... we thought we were making a quick 10 to 15 minute stop for food... but no one predicted my big blonde moment... So I haven't told anyone the real story (only Hailey bc she was in my car).

So about five minutes in to the drive I realized I forgot something important... deodorant... I hadn't put it on that day and well that's crucial for the pleasure of the noses around me. So the whole time I'm driving that's all I can think about. I was super conscious of it... so after a huge chunk of metal flies at my car from underneath Shamu we pull over to eat at Arby's... I'm super stoked because I can finally put deodorant on.

After everyone goes in and I order my food I go out to my car to put it on... just as I think I'm home free and no one is around PK walks out of Arby's... in an attempt to keep him from seeing me I jump up really quick (for some reason I think it's really embarassing for ppl to see me doing this.... esp guys). When I jump up the keys fall out of my pocket, on to my seat, and thus, I locked my keys in the car.

And the 10 min stop turned in to an hour because we had to wait for the tow truck... so we in return hit a bunch of traffic all because I forgot to put deodorant on... dang it! :)

The only eventful things after this was a man trying to break into the van with all the girls in it, Rachel freaking out and hitting a tree, lightsaber wars, Rachel bursting in to song in the middle of Starbucks, and our fire alarm going off at 1am... other than that... egh... uneventful wknd.

Recap pics:

Hailey and Justine were in my room... good times :)

Probably the best pic ever of Rachel...

Hailey and Jeremy Wick batteling it out... in my opinion Hailey rocked the lightsaber better but Jeremy may tell you otherwise... don't listen he has a big head